The Trouble with Bios...
The trouble with bios is...we are either going on about past pursuits and victories...or in the midst of big changes and next steps that will lead us into new experiences and stories.
Case in point...A photo of me at 15 (summer of 1972) playing guitar in a community theater event in Claremore, Oklahoma where I grew up. Which could indicate that I have a music background...and maybe had a little talent at one time.
I want my website and marketing materials to authentically represent what I am doing and moving toward in this minute. I also realize that in the world of self-promotion and positioning, many visitors to my site will want a bit of the "where I have been and what I have done" story.
I decided to create a story board of sorts to offer you snapshots of me and what I have been doing across the 67 years of my journey. Yeah! I know! That's a lot of journey!
It is my intention that you will find what is important to you and be able to let the rest go.
Let me know how you experience this approach.
Cheers,
Susan
Growing Up
I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma. I was an overweight tomboy most of my younger life. When I was 9 or 10, I dreamed of being a major league baseball player and read every baseball biography I could get my hands on.
I was good at school, played in the band, and sang in the choir. I was immersed in Southern Baptist culture. I was a Girl Scout and a GA.
I loved science and God. It never occurred to me then...or since...that these two things were mutually exclusive. Each has its mystery. Each requires us to make leaps of faith.
Our working middle class family was abusive and violent. Over time I have realized that was my call to speak out about important issues that were being ignored in society. As a result, I have committed myself to not silently condoning hurtful and inequitable situations.
I graduated at 16 from Claremore High School (our mascot was a Zebra!) after deciding to skip my Senior year. I was aware that I was ready to move to the next step on the path. I went on to Oklahoma University where I received a B.S. in Microbiology and a Ph.D. in Science Education.
Education and Organizational Change
I began my professional life as a science teacher. I taught Physical Science, Chemistry, and Physics in private and public schools. I also taught biology courses in a local community college.
My teaching experience helped me realize that many students are not served by traditional educational systems. I became a researcher of alternate methods for teaching science. I left public schools and took a faculty position at North Carolina State University. I wrote articles, won grants, implemented programs in local schools, and made a lot of presentations. And none of that really changed anything.
In 1998 I gathered a small group of concerned parents and educators in my living room in Apex, NC and together we visioned a school for students whose potential was at risk in traditional school settings. That school was chartered by the state of North Carolina in 1999; Community Partners Charter High School opened its doors in August 2000.
I made a big decision at that time...to leave my position as a tenured Assistant Professor of Science Education at NCSU to become the full-time co-Director of the school. It was one of the best and hardest jobs I have ever had. We made a tremendous difference in the lives of many of the students we served.
I ran the school for three years before succumbing to exhaustion and burn out.
And that started another journey...
Coaching and High Ropes
After leaving the Charter School...I had no idea what I would do next. I applied for all kinds of jobs. I was not hired for any of them.
I enrolled in a Counseling program at NCSU. Where I had been a tenured faculty member. After two years of taking courses and two rejections to be admitted to the program, I had to begin looking elsewhere for my "Next."
A classmate suggested I try coaching...which I had never heard of at that time. Within a few weeks I was enrolled in and attending the Coaches Training Institute (now the Co-Active Training Institute). I graduated in September 2006. Since that time I have logged hundreds of hours of coaching with clients from the US, the UK, Canada, and France. I received my PCC...Professional Coaches Certification...from the International Coaches Federation in 2020.
Following the CTI coach training I completed the CTI Leadership Program in 2007.
During the Leadership Training I became smitten with high ropes work. I trained high up in the redwoods of California and at the North Carolina White Water Center. I facilitated high ropes activities in California and North Carolina. I worked with children, CEOs of corporations, and families experiencing the trauma of children with addictions. These experiences opened my eyes to the impact courage and willingness can have on our lives.
In 2016 and 2017, I completed the Great Story Breakthrough Coaches Program and the Ego and Emotional Mastery Program with Lucid Living. These programs deepened my understanding of working with my clients' stories and emotional content.
In 2019 I participated in and completed Assenter Coaching's Executive Coaching Certification program (XCC) which gave me insights into Executive and corporate coaching.
Over my 15 years of experience in coaching and coach trainings I have learned to listen carefully to my clients' stories, hold a big space for their emotions and desires, and provide a solid platform from which they can leap into the Futures they dream about.
French Decade
I lived in France off and on for almost a decade. During that time I was on a constant move back and forth across the Big Pond.
I got there as the result of a relationship. I left there when that relationship ended.
It was a learning experience of immense proportions. I was not a French speaker. I was a foreigner living in a British house and community. Every day I was reminded of that old Sesame Street song..."One of these things is not like the other."
I would never choose to undo that experience. I became a very good chef while I was there. I co-Directed a small "Gite" in the French Alps. I met people from all over the world who came there to cycle and ski. I saw one of the legs of the Tour de France.
I was a fish out of water is so many ways. Strangely, my identity got wrapped up in it. And...when it ended abruptly...I was devastated. It was one of the biggest losses of my life. I did not know what to do or where to go next.
I was "caught" in the nets of friends in the UK and in US. I was given the space I needed to heal and to create the next steps. It was not easy.
I made it through that fire to emerge with a better understanding of loss, grief, healing...and the art of creating something new.
Healing and Awakening
I was sitting in my son's backyard meditating one day, when I heard the voice...that internal guidance system...say "Find a teacher and be trained as a Reiki Master." I only had the first level of Reiki under me...and there were two more levels between level I and Master. So that felt a little presumptuous on the part of my guidance.
And... I know that voice well...so I went inside immediately and google-searched for a Reiki Master to teach me. I assumed I would be headed to California where all things WooWoo can be found.
Instead, in the Fall of 2011...I boarded a plane for the UK and trained up to Findhorn, Scotland to work with my new teacher, Elizabeth Harley. Under Elizabeth's supervision I completed all the requirements for the Reiki Master...and learned an obscure ancient yoga practice, called the 5 Rites (5 Tibetans.)
To say this adventure was prescribed for my path might be an understatement...because I went on to write and publish a small book about the 5 Tibetans and their healing capacity. (The Five Tibetans Yoga Workshop, Findhorn Press)
My work with Elizabeth and those 5 Tibetans was the beginning of an important chapter in my spiritual life and personal life. I had always held a belief in something bigger than myself. Now, I understood that Source and Higher Power in another way. I watched myself change under that awareness and through the rather magical work of Reiki and the 5 Tibetans practice.
Saying "Yes" to the invitation that morning at my son's house...and opening myself to all that came after...changed the way I viewed myself, others, and my work in the world. I embraced magic and mystery more fully. I opened myself to many spiritual beliefs and viewpoints. I learned that I was a healer...and a creator.
Learning the Art of Creation and Removal
The loss I suffered in France led me to research and begin a book about loss. As a teacher and a writer...I really didn't know how else to get a handle on it...and get myself through it.
In 2017, I went to Italy to write a coaching book on loss. I stayed in a small village called Ascea, on the Mediterranean...in an apartment sponsored by a Danish philosopher who rented spaces to artists and writers. Lars charged me 19 Euros a day for a 2 bedroom apartment with all the trimmings. I was blessed and am still grateful.
After 6 weeks of writing, I toured Italy with a friend. We went to Florence where the scientist in me perseverated on Galileo and DaVinci. And then, in the Galleria Del' Accademia on a guided tour, I was introduced to a very old man who would change the path of my life. His name was Michelangelo. While the guide was taking us through the "Hall of Prisoners" and down into the space inhabited by the "Giant" (AKA David), she explained Michelangelo's philosophy of life and sculpture. From that moment on, the "art of removal" and the battle of our spirits to escape our flesh (Talk about an attachment issue!) has been in my head and in my work.
A short time after that...my writing began to move away from loss and grief and toward creation. Away from the notion of re-inventing life after loss...to finally understanding what I had learned in Lucid Living trainings...that we create our reality. Every day. And that loss is not the only catalyst for change. We can choose change...and create more love, beauty, joy, and possibility in that change.
Personal Life
I have two adult children, Jenny and Aaron. I am a proud grandma to three grandsons, Ben, Owen, and Ace.
In the summer of 2020...in the midst of all things COVID...I married my wife Monte in our front yard with a small in-person audience and a larger global Zoom audience. We currently live on two acres of trees and gardens in Cary, NC where we share our love for each other and for creating new stuff every single day.
Why Identity Fails Us
Identity is a two-edged sword. It gives us words and modifiers about ourselves to communicate to others and to hang our business hats on.
And...identity is an illusion. Clinging to AN identity can cause us tremendous pain and stuckness.
Working on the "ABOUT ME" page has been complicated. I have been many things in my life. I have been called many things. Summing all that up into a paragraph or two and assuming that communicates who I AM...is not just difficult. It is impossible.
Over my life I have been thinner and heavier, a wife and a divorcee, a teacher and a chef, a mom and a grandmother. I have been a teacher, a professor, a school director...and a landscaper. I have created a school in North Carolina and dinners for 40 people in France. I have lived in two countries and 4 states. I have succeeded and failed. I have been a tomboy and a Reiki Master. I have been married, had kids, and am gay. I have been a scholar and a trail educator. I have known the comfort of plenty and I have spent a lot of nights on other peoples' couches.
It is not one or two or my "personalities" or accomplishments that benefit my clients. It is the whole of me and my life experience.
That is true of you, too. You are not one thing or another. You are a complex tapestry of many stories, events, achievements, and experiences.
Why is this important?
The "identity" story we tell ourselves can become an "attachment" that keeps us moored to places, people, and aspirations that we have outgrown. Without exception...all the ruts and valleys of my life have been related to my reluctance or inability to detach from some identity I decided was the "real" me.
The Creator's Mindset has been very freeing to me. Every day I try to remember that I have the gift of creation in me. I choose my opportunities and my reality. I do not have to pay allegiance or attach to any "identity" that I have taken on or been given during my life journey.
It's all made up...and I am the one who is doing the making up.
